<<Finnegan, your mind always wanders when we talk. it is like you always want to
be going somewhere else. is here and now never good enough for you Finnegan? i
am walking along the corridors of your mind with you and you look at me wide
eyed as if you are listening to my every word. absorbing information like plants
photosynthesize sunlight. but in reality when i talk of Dasha and her new friend
Jaybee, and when Unkle Bill interrupts, i find you have hidden you conscious away
in a closeted part of your mind. you are performing magick spells like some
nineteenth century witch or politician. i cannot believe we hang out together
Right. Sorry. So I needed to check on my son. Baby Thor is with two of Ruben’s fathers
men. I have been viewing them. I gathered that the two mid level goons have taken my
son and my husband to Kaliphonia. There is a not so secret secret society there that I
used to protest in my paintings. I joked once that Ruben’s father was probably one of the
rich people that belonged to the evil magic world ruler club out there in the Brohemian
Grove. Ruben didn’t laugh and stopped talking to me for the rest of the day.
I am just guessing that the two goons, “the brothers” and Yukio and Zukio or IshiZuka
I’ve heard them called, have taken my family to Kaliphonia, the home of the Brohemian
Grove; because the surroundings don’t look like McCow Towne or Normal Towne or
Oklahellmouth City. I viewed Baby Thor riding in a shiny tiny car with the two brothers.
The larger one, IshiZuka or Zukio as his brother calls him, was playing peek a boo with
Baby Thor in the back seat.
Yukio and IshiZuka are walking Baby Thor through a school room. Thor he looks good.
He seems happy. He…
<<well that is nice. we now return to the blossoming friendship between Dasha
Rabbit Ear and Jaybee the Homeless Ninja>>
“Bloody Hell. This guy is trying to get me killed. “, mutters Dasha.
<<Dasha follows Jaybee into a small liquor store located in a run down strip mall on
one of the more lively parts of downtown Oklahellmouth City. this run down strip
mall is similar to many of the run down small business graveyards scattered across
the Oklahellmouth, a time capsule of capitalism in decay. Dasha is not afraid of
dying from alcohol poisoning. she was actually relieved that Jaybee the Homeless
Ninja suggested that they get a bottle of something to drink from the store. this
seemed safer in theory than sitting at some bar or café, where one was at the mercy
of whatever walked or crawled out of the establishment’s kitchen>>
<<no, Dasha was not concerned about drinking out of a bottle wrapped in a brown
paper bag in public with a homeless guy she just met in a dumpster in an alley.
Dasha was concerned about the large two headed zombie cowman standing behind
the counter at the liquor store. the cowman, apparently named Casey, was selling a
bottle of pinot noir to an elderly man in a tweed jacket>>
“Thank you Casey, you’re a good boy. Let me know if you get any more Jesus Juice from
Kaliphonia in later this week.”, says the old man in tweed.
“Sure thing Mr. Steppenollapus. You give it to the missus good after you two polish of
that bottle, you old freak.”, says Casey the Booze Merchant.
<<the old man laughs and hold the bottle up in front of his crotch and thrusts his
hips back and forth, fornicating in mid-air.>>
“So there is a cowman selling liquor here.”, Dasha asks Jaybee.
“Yup.”, says Jaybee. <<Dasha warily follows Jaybee. He walks toward the whiskey
“And you are on a first name basis with this zombie cow?”, Dasha says.
<<almost an accusation!!>>
“Yup. Thought you might get a kick out of this. He’s actually a hell of a guy.”, says Jaybee.
<<Dasha’s new friend says this whilst continuingg to shop. he picks up a bottle of
rotgut whiskey and holds it up to the ceiling lights>>
“Oh, I am sure he is.”, Dasha says.
<<Dasha does not take her eyes off of the cowman behind the counter. she slides a
knife from her belt and palms it with the blade slid up her sleeve. Jaybee the
Homeless Ninja notices Dasha arming herself and replaces the rotgut whiskey back
on the shelf and grabs a slightly less toxic bottle of scotch>>
“There’s no need for that Love. Casey used to work with me long ago back in Normal
Towne. He and I used to hangout and discuss world wide conspiracy theories. That was
back before he was half cow of course. He moved to the city and went from working at,
to owning this liquor store. Bought it from the owner he did. And that other owner was
a no good drunk. Casey made this place respectable, profitable even. Takes care of his
regulars, he does. But then the apocalypse came along and a cow came in here and tried
to eat him. Casey keeps a gun and a butcher knife under the counter there, so he was
able to defend himself against the beast. It seems the two got the best of each other and
now they are both half owners of the store. Ha ha ha ha ha!”, says Jaybee the Homeless
<<Jaybee jokes on his way up to the counter. Dasha follows hesitantly. Casey hears
Jaybee’s laughter and looks up from a book he is reading. with his human head>>
“Are you telling this nice lady with the rabbit ear that same old fucking joke about me
and this bag of udders ‘co-owning’ the store?”, asks Casey the Booze Merchant.
<<Casey talks to Jaybee and Dasha calms down and comes to see the differences
betweenn Notnek zombie cowman and Casey zombie cowman. Jaybee and Dasha
trade swigs of scotch and stories of what brought each of them to the city. the two
are waiting for a train to Normal Towne. Jaybee and Dasha are sitting in a pair of
green, plush recliners that Jaybee rescued from the front curb of some house
nearby. Jaybee refers to the reclamation of discarded human property as, “Sanford
and Son-ing”, for some reason. Dasha and Jaybee are posted up in an alley behind a
restaurant across the street from the trainstation. the pair of humans picked this
restaurant to hide and wait for the train behind because the restaurant has a sign
posted in the front window claiming that “We are out of Meat. Sorry”>>
“Lost your entire Zombie Killing Crew, huh?”, asks Jaybee.
“And my ear.”, says Dasha.
“I feel ya. I lost quite a bit when I left Normal Towne too bud.”, says Jaybee.
<<the two lonely humans tell each other their stories, like lonely humans do.
Jaybee brings up that he was once a kitchen manager in Normal Towne, and that
he’d be happy to accompany Dasha back there to see what has become of his old
hometown and his old place of employment. Dasha grabs the dwindling bottle of
liquid friendship from Jaybee>>
“I would greatly appreciate your company my drunken friend; as the trains are not
exactly as safe as I would like them to be.”, says Dasha.
“Yeah, I read that somewhere. Hey, letsss go back to Casey’s. I need to pick up another
bottle for the train ride.”, says Jaybee.
“You remind me of my buddy Finnegan. She drinks the same brand of rotgut booze that
you first picked up back there. It must be a kitchen manager thing.”, Dasha rationalizes.
<<at that moment a meat truck pulls up to the back door of the restaurant that
begged forgiveness for their lack of meat. with a sense of urgency, the driver exits
the truck and orders his passenger to: “Get the fuck out of this truck!” Finnegan,
you stumble out of the cab looking dazed and confused. you look like you lost all of
your friends in the world>>
“I swear to you man. Zombies. I’m not fucking with you man. Zombie Cows!”, you say.
<<Tony the Meat Guy is not having it>>
<<Dasha and Jaybee, who are finishing their drinking and laughing notice two
- Dasha notices that you just got out of the truck Finnegan.
- Jaybee notices that the truck that brought the two travelers is a Dump Co. Meat Truck from McCow Towne.>>
<<the two new drinking buddies both agree to go interact with the former
occupants of the truck. Dasha approaches you, who have begun the short stumble
out of the alley. Jaybee tries to speak with the meat truck driver. Tony is struggling
to unload several cases of meat from the back of his truck>>
“Hey pretty lady! Looking for a good time?”, Dasha asks you.
<<you look up with rage and recognition mixed in your drunken mind>>
“Fu… Dasha? Oh shit! Dasha! Hey buddy!”, you say.
<<you and your friend rush to embrace each other. baffled that the other is still
“Would you two ladies join me back over at the meat truck and provide a bit of
assistance?”, hollers Jaybee.
<<Tony the Meat Guy is swinging his clip board at Jaybee, and insisting for Jaybee
to:>> “Get your crazy, homeless ass away from me. I’m done talking to lunatics today!!”,
says Tony the Meat Guy.
<<Tony then sees Dasha and you approaching the truck. Tony looks back at Jaybee
and says:>> “I should have known you were this nut job. Whatever dungeons and
dragons magic game you and your lady friends are playing, take it somewhere else.
Okay bud? I am trying to Adult here! Somebody has to make sure the restaurants have
meat to serve to people. We can’t all be chasing imaginary monsters around with our
MyPhones. Damn!”, says Tony the Meat Guy.
<<Tony takes another half hearted swing at Jaybee and then starts pulling his dolly,
loaded with boxes of Me, toward the back door of the restaurant. the dolly hits a
hole in the broken parking lot pavement and one of the MEat boxes bounces open.
a hamburger monster jumps out and starts to attack Tony the Meat Truck driver
with sharp teeth and irony. Jaybee rushes to his Hobo Pack for his sword and you
and Dasha rush directly to Tony’s aid. more hamburger monsters jump from the
boxes of MEat>>>
&&&image of Dasha pulling hamburger monster off tony and jaybee rushing with a sword.&&
“That was fucked up.”, says Tony the Meat Guy.
“And then you said,’Okay lady you win. Call off your hamburger.’ I about lost my shit
and stopped hacking the damn things.”, says Jaybee the Homeless Ninja.
“Yeah, I though you were gonna drop your sword.”, says Dasha.
“I can’t believe you have the word ‘Vagina’ written on your sword holster.”, you say.
“It’s called a sheathe. It is the protective covering for and the favorite place of my poking
stick. It makes sense if you think about it.”, says Jaybee the horny Homeless Ninja.
“Oh I get it bud. I am just not amused.”, you say.
<<the four of you sit together on the train to Normal Towne, taking swigs from
Jaybee’s bottle. your shoes and those of your three friends all drip into a collective
puddle of zombie blood that is growing on the floor of the train. the other
passengers look away. their minds are out of the windows>>
&&&one page image of continent of oklahellmouth&&&
&&&close up image of train traveling across oklahellmouth map. OKHMC to Normal Towne&&
&&& close up image of Kaliphonia desert area and brohemeain grove&&
<<Ace L’Argent du Sang moves the hand carved dolls across his desk. covering the
desk is a laminated picture of West ‘Merica’. Ace looks out of the doorway of his
office; he sees his grandson running back and forth from room to room, in and out
of the other offices on this floor. occasionally Ace sees Yukio or Zukio chasing after
the child. there is often the sight of Doctor Limothy talking at and walking after
Doctor Ruben. Aces son, the Doctor Ruben. medical doctor, son of a witch doctor.
a practitioner of the mystic arts producing a practitioner of the surgical arts. there
was a time when Ace would have..>>
I don’t care what Ace the rich and powerful would have done or who else is running
through the hallways of the Neverland Ranch. I want to see what Baby Thor is doing. I
need to be with him!!
<<fine Finnegan. if you cannot follow the narrative and see the beauty of the story
all coming together than fine. lets move back to your part in it>>
Well no go ahead. tell me about the time Ace would have whatever. I am listening.
where are they exactly? What the hell is going on?
<<no your right. let us get back to where things are going with you and your rag tag
group of spunky do gooders, who have returned to Normal Towne. right after I
make your drunkenness listen to this guy’s drunkenness>>