Letters to Shilo
From Unkle Bill W BobChange
Hey buddy. I think the worst part is that the person causing all the damage to my human
form is me. Weekend before last, I was helping to feed a group of homeless folks in
OKHMC at a local taco truck. I saw this giant bald guy wearing one of those giant animal
suits. You know the kind that those perverts who like to fuck other perverts in animal
suits wear? Well I was feeding Old Ben, when this guy comes up and screaming for his
sex partner, “junior”. It made me sick. Here I was, an addict taking time out of feeding
my addiction, trying to help feed other people who had lost everything to their
addictions. And this guy wants to show off his new fuck puppet friend, who has a
children’s name?! Fuck that Shilo. Fuck that. For Christ-sake guys like this are the
reason people like me and my homeless friends feel the need to get fucked up everyday.
Just like those goddamned politicians and their petty bullshit. Do the goddamned
people’s work, I say!
And I just knew this bald guy in the animal suit and Hawaiian shirt was a politician.
I remembered him lying to me in some advertisement. So here he goes hollering “Junior,
fuck me this” and “Junior, fuck me that.” It was a sick public display to be sure. So when
this lie peddler hollers, “I’m gonna fuck and kill you Junior!”, I drop the plate I was
making for Ritchie and run up to the Hawaiian Furry. I poke him right in the chest and
tell him that he can look for his love toy somewhere else. We are people here too! And
so this guy looks down at me and gets real mean faced at first and then starts to laugh
and laugh. I don’t give him a chance to do anything further. I start kicking him in his
groin covering udders. This dip shit was wearing a cow suit and no knickers apparently.
He went down on his knees and I started boxing his ears real good. Then a few of the
homeless I had been feeding came over and started beating the shit of of this guy too! I
started to feel bad. Honest to God. Here I had started a hate crime on some poor guy
looking to bump uglies with another consensual adult for all I knew. I started to try and
call off my fellow addicts, when Ritchie came up to me. I told him my concerns and he
assured me this guy had it coming. Turns out, all three homeless women beating the guy
up had been employees of his in the past! As God as my witness Shilo. I think I just
helped deal out karma. And no good deed goes unpunished. Let me tell you. A few
hours ago I found myself on the other side of a two week bender that started the day I
stepped between the man in the cow suit and junior.
Love and Taco Trucks,