60 Dyin Read’s Space Pirate Slave Fights

Dyin Read’s Space Pirate Slave Fights


<<Notnek and Hopskotch go off on an adventure with Bat Max and Mack TruckYeah.  

they are all forced to fight other slaves on space ship, home to a traveling gladiator

reality show.  Bat Max used to call himself Fat before he was mauled by a zombie

deer, since surviving that he felt the need to upgrade his name to a more superhero

sounding title.  Ergo Bat Max was born from the bad tempered shit bandit of the

Oklahellmouth.  Mack TruckYeah is an escape convict and the loan survivor of the

first outbreak of Me (the Virus, Duh?!)  The two have been battling in Dyin Read’s

Pirate slave fights ever since the outbreak on current dimension earth>>


<<Pirate slave fights under the leadership of Dyin Read, a group of

illuminati economists used public funds provided by the endowment for the

National Pentagon Radio to purchase a space ship and a crew headed by Pirate Paul

and the space hobos to kidnap and/or bribe fighters from every dimension into

becoming combatants in the Pirate slave fights.  the winners of the fights get to go

free or join the illuminati’s private armies.  not any easy decision.  the free life

means always knowing that you are being watched and possibly becoming a pawn

in some other illuminati scheme.  joining the armies means financial security.  

health care, housing, a steady income and regular meals, not just for the fighter,

but for some of the fighter’s immediate family unit as well.  so after fighting for

their life, most combatants join the illuminati, or the horde, or the ‘Merican’

military, or whoever the Pirate Space Hobo’s are recruiting for on that given day in

that given dimension.  Pirate Paul recognizes Hopskotch and Notnek from his home

time space in Normal Towne.  Pirate Paul frees the two humans from his former

time and dimension of residence out of nostalgia for an age that has passed Paul by.  

continuing on in his government/illuminati sponsored work, Pirate Paul sends Mack

TruckYeah and Bat Max to fight to the death.  Pirate Paul offers Bat and Mack a

week of drinking and training with the other would-be soldier combatants before

they start fighting.  

During all of this Hopskotch speaks out against the forced fighting.  Notnek tries to

quiet Hopskotch, but he pesters Pirate Paul about his profession long enough

where Pirate Paul decides to have Hopskotch Sunday frozen.  Hopskotch Sunday is

frozen in an ice cold nano-bot chemical gel.  it climbs up his legs and seeps in his

pores.  Hopskotch Sunday screams as he becomes a living statue.  everyone in the

space ship is quiet after Pirate Paul immobilizes Hopskotch Sunday.>>


“I try to be nice, but this work must be done; or I won’t be around anymore to be nice to

anyone.”, says Pirate Paul.


<<pirate Paul’s Hobo comrades nod and grumble agreements.  Notnek holds up his

hands and says,>>  “Hey, I totally like your style.  Kill ‘em with kindness.  Just kill them.  

Am I right?”, says Notnek


“Don’t make me freeze you too ass clown.  Hobos, send these two humans back to earth.  

They have a meeting to attend at the Normal Towne City Hall, I believe.”, says Pirate



<<the Space Pirate Ship steers around a giant spider weaving a web in space and

heads back toward the Milky Way and to Earth.  Notnek and Hopskotch Sunday are

teleported off the space ship into the women’s restroom of Normal Towne City



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