Letters to Shilo
From Unkle Bill W BobChange
Hey Shilo, I hope this letter finds you swell. I’m living in a cardboard box outback of
HeyRon’s liquor warehouse. I’m not drinking. I’m not drinking. It’s not a problem. But
I’m still not thinking. I mean drinking. You might wonder why I’m living here. You want
to know why? To prove to myself that I’m not drinking. Well nothing more than the
customers give me as they leave the store. There I said it. I have no shoes on my feet.
Just the ground to stand on. I met a girl outside of the store named Claire. She claimed
to be from a town called Hurt, about a half a mile west of Portland as the cow flies.
Claire fought me a bottle of time travel whiskey. It reminded me of the time I picked you
up from the airport and threw up all over my car. Remember I passed out naked on that
park bench? I used my clothes a a pillow and a printout of Tronald Dump’s list of
presidential qualifications for a blanket. The first thing I noticed wasn’t the smell. The
smell was identical to that of a burning squirrel. No, the first thing I noticed was the
familiar sensation of my second ex-wife pretending to give me a blow job. Teeth
grinding and pulling at the base of my cock. This stray dog was hungry. and my burnt
old pecker was today’s kibbles n’ bits…
Anyway. Not drinking. Just thinking about making some soup on the old hobo stove.
The guy in the store lets me build cardboard liquor boxes in my number ten can to cook
my food. I chopped up a whole sweet potato and cooked it in olive oil in the wok for ten
minutes while I chopped up the other veggies. An onion, three small carrots, three large
celery stalks and a clove of garlic. I sautéed the vegetables until they browned slightly
and then I added an 8oz tin can full of water. I added turmeric and paprika and salt and
pepper after the water had boiled the veggies up good and soft. At the end of it all I
added the last two cups of buttermilk I found at the general dollar parking lot. The soup
was delicious and I fell asleep dreaming of the time I set the back seat of my car on fire.
Take care Shilo.
Love and a hangman’s noose,