22 The Day Shift


<<the customers park across the street from the Bucket o’ Blood and wander over to

the restaurant like cows in search of greener pastures.  the Hungry migrate from

the sidewalks; having left the office buildings and classrooms, construction yards

and road crews from which they came.  the customers from everywhere, and all

walks of life.   from nudie bar dancers to baby sitters, from con-artists to

clergymen; they come…and they come hungry.>>


<<you, Finnegan, rush around the kitchen fixing the salad section and bread section

of the food line.  you trouble yourself over the items needed to open in the last few

customer free moments.  you haven’t stocked the grill section of the line this

morning, however.  this is Free Dave’s responsibility as he is the morning grill

master (bater).  but you decide you had better question his ability to do his job;

since you only trust him as far as you can throw him…out of your van.>>


“Hey Free Dave, do we have enough full buckets of fries?”, you ask.


“Yeah, there are four.  Can’t your drunk ass count?”, Free Dave slurs.


“Did you open them to see if the were full of fries or dirty fry water?”, you ask.


“They felt full of fries.  Fuck off.  I know what I am doing.”, says Free Dave.


“Do we have enough steaks defrosted?”, you ask.


“Yes.”, Free Dave says.


“Do we have…”, you start to ask.


“Dammit woman!! Don’t tell me how to do my job!!”, shouts Free Dave.


<<these words come out of Free Dave’s mouth as a hungover drunken whiny howl of



“Shit…sorry bud.  D-d-d-don’t get all butt hurt Burt…”, you say.


“Shut the fuck up Finnegan.”, says Free Dave coldly.


<<Free Dave turns toward the refrigerator, opens it and stick his face inside.  

blocking his face from your view.  you wonder if he is crying.  you have had many

cooks cry at work, even on the way to work here they cry.  you laugh to yourself

about Free Dave’s anger and confusion.  one drunk recognizes the humor in

another drunk’s misfortune.  Finnegan, you have been hanging out way too long

with Notnek.>>


You’ve got that right Virus.


<<Free Dave comes out of the fridge, tear free, and walks up beside you and puts

two limes into the microwave in front of you.  the microwave blocks your head

from customer view through the open kitchen/dining room door directly on the

Waitress/Boss/Bartender side of the line.  the view from the door being blocked is

good for keeping humans in the front of the restaurant from seeing the anger on

your face and the rude gestures that you make whilst cooking their food.>>


<<Free Dave sets the microwave for twenty seconds and walks around the cook line

and right out the aforementioned kitchen/dining room door.  you stare at the

microwaving limes and then peer around the microwave into the dining room.  the

first thing you see in the dining area is Notnek leaning against the bar.  next you

notice Angel pouring drinks behind the bar, and then Theta rotating her rear end

back and forth in the direction of customers at their tables and at the kitchen door.  

this, you realize is why Theta’s name sticks in your mind more than the names of

the other Waitresses (what were their names again?)  then you notice Free Dave

putting ice into a large Bucket o’ Blood red cup and turning to walk back through

the door.  you notice that Free Dave does pause to tell an ass kissing joke to the Boss

and gawk at Theta’s rotating ass.  his ass gazing is interrupted by a question from



“Have you looked into that study about microwaves melting your brain yet, Free?”, asks



<<Free Dave stops staring at her rear and looks up to Theta’s face.  he is confused

for a moment.  Angel laughs from behind the bar>>


“Hrrrn…I uh, I noticed the author didn’t cite his sources.”, Free Dave says.


<<Free Dave shuffles nervously from side to side.  Theta opens her mouth, thinks

and closes it again. Angel rolls her eyes.>>


“Right now I gotta go cook some, ladies.”, Free Dave says.


<<Free Dave puffs up his chest in self importance.>>


“You have to go and cook some ladies?!  What the fuck Free Dave?!”, says Angel



<<Theta and Angel cover their mouths and laugh.  Free Dave’s face turns bright



“No!!  You know what I mean Dammit!!”, says Free Dave.


<<his chest puffed up defensively, a flustered Free Dave arrives back at your side just as the microwave beeps.  announcing the end of the two limes’ micros-wave bombardment>>


“What the hell are you doing Free Dave?”, you ask him.


<<Free Dave pushes you aside and opens the microwave and pulls out the two



&&&finnegan and free dave in kitchen image&&&


“I’m fixing my hangover.  Hrrrrrnnnn…”, Free dave moans in response.


“By microwaving our fruit?”, you ask.  <<bewildered>>


“No silly, by drinking fresh squeezed fruit juice.  Running the limes through the Mike-n-

Ike for 20-30 seconds helps to release more juice.  And more juice means that I can be my

best self more quicker.”, says Free Dave.  


<<pedagogical Free Dave…?  he then moves past you to the fryer/grill end of the

cooking line to squeeze his limes.  you bend down behind the serving line and way

below the microwave, the (now empty) food pick up area, the stacks of clean empty

plates and next to the bottles of hamburger seasonings you reach your beverage

area.  instead of sipping booze, you follow Free Dave’s example.  you uncap a bottle

and take a long drink of kombucha, for a better you.  the kombucha tea has many

uses.  from detoxifying to encouraging healthy bacteria growth in the belly; this tea

is also thirst quenching and nutritious.  but right now you just want your body to

feel less horrible from all the whiskey you recently deposited into it>>



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