Pathways into Darkness
<<you are remembering a dream you had when you were tied to the bed at the
“His dad, my grandfather, Jean-Michel L’Argent du Sang, instructed him in the ways of
the old French Magicians and Musicians that worked the whorehouses of the Rude Royal.
Jean-Michel was an illuminati member during the French revolution. Some family
stories claimed that Jean-Michel helped to start the Revolution, but I never thought they
were anything but stories until now. I mean, he would have hardly been old enough to
be of much use to a revolution, much less be a key member in a secret society. Unless my
grandfather fathered my father in his 130 something’s, I doubt he was even alive when
the revolution started.”, says Ruben.
<<you and Ruben are walking besides a narrow river of water. it seems to be a
canal. a tourist canal, with many waterfront shops on both sides. Ruben is wearing
his favorite brown suit coat, with white dress shirt untucked beneath. the weather
is warm. the sun is bright. you are wearing large dark sunglasses that cover half of
your face and a black and white striped sundress. you have on large black untied
army boots and your battered black leather jacket hangs over your right shoulder.
you don’t say anything as the two of you walk. you are smoking a left handed
“But let us say that my grandfather Jean-Michel was an ancient revolutionary illuminati
sorcerer; it was only natural for his son Ace to start his own sect of the illuminati around
the whorehouses of the French Quarter in Naw Leans. When the city thrived, Ace’s
magick circle grew. Wealthy lawyers, judges, corrupt cops and politicians would come.
They would come in from the Naw Leans heat and join Ace and his working women in
their Sex Magick. The bourgeois would all come to Ace to get hexes put on their enemies
or to get various rotting body parts replaced with younger, recently stolen and disease
free replacement parts. You must realize that the Rich always need new livers and
kidneys. Pop told me that Grandpa Jean-Michel even taught him how to replace eyes and
hands and feet. Just about anything one could dig up.”, says your Doctor.
<<Finnegan, you giggle when Ruben says this.>>
“Ace said he thought that Jean-Michel was doing the will of his Masters from Sirius C
when he passed on the Secret Magick. Once, Pop was about to lose one of his
whorehouses to the church that actually owned the property that Pop’s whorehouse
operated on. Ace begged and bribed the local clergy, but they would not budge. The
preacher threw my father out of the church and said the power of the Pope was greater
than anything that Ace could conjure with his sinful women. That night Jean-Michel
came to my pop in his dreams and taught him a now infamous French Quarter spell. The
next day Ace watched in delight as two Zombies slowly chased the Pious Preacher away
from the whorehouse and devoured him as he prayed on Bourbon Street. A City Official,
who held a held a criminal hearing concerning some of my father’s business practices,
found himself trapped on the top deck of the Cajun Queen (a tourist boat on the
Mnisosthaka River). Ace sent a group of Undead Lawyers (It is hard to tell the difference
from the living ones) to occupy the City Official for the afternoon.”, says Ruben.
<<you and he come to the end of the canal and turn into a quiet park. there are no
other people around. you both sit down on a grass covered hill and share a bottle of
cold water with a fancy foreign name printed on the label. Ruben looks at you with
his dark brown eyes and kisses you. his story continues inside you head, even
though his lips are otherwise occupied>>
“The tourists always freaked out at the site of Ace’s Zombies, when they carried out his
orders in the French Quarter. Some foolish few tried to interfere with them and became
zombies themselves. Visitors to Naw Leans sometimes took infected family members
away with them when they left the city. Most locals tended to ignore them and keep out
of Pop’s affairs. There were several Voodoo Queens in and around Naw Leans that made
short work of Pop’s Undead and even enlisted them in dark deeds of their own. Marie La
Vue and Unkle Bill were the most troublesome of the Voodoo Queens. There was talk of
a love affair between Ace and Unkle Bill and Marie La Vue but that was before the Weir
Witches and the Courier Wizard of Rush Springs came through the French Quarter.
Blood and gold flooded the streets and filled the gutters. Marie eventually made peace
with Ace and the two chased Unkle Bill out of Naw Leans. But by and large the citizens
of Naw Leans and greater West “Merica’ were undeterred by my father’s Zombie
escapades of the mid 20th century.”, says your Doctor, your Lover.
<<the two of you are rolling back and forth in each others’ arms on this soft bed of
grass. the sound of children laughing in the distance make you smile in between
kisses…and suddenly you think that you are forgetting something… Ruben slides
his hand up your summer dress and caresses your inner thigh>>
“Damnit Junior!! What the hell are you doing out here Girl?!”, screams Notnek.
<<your dream has been interrupted.>>
“Hrrrnn…What?”, you croak and creek.
<<you jump up from the long flat freezer you were sleeping on. you are in the shed
outside the Black Metal BackDoor of the Bucket o’ Blood, and apparently you have
been groping yourself in your sleep. your boss, Notnek, is standing in the doorway
of the shed. sunlight, outside and behind Notnek streams into the darkness of your
cave. Finnegan, i know you hate being awakened from sleep, even if it is a bad
dream. and what else could you call a dream involving the man who took your
child having his way with you whilst casually discussing his family history? >>
Like I discuss anything with you. You get all your knowledge first hand from my brain.
You know more about me than I can even remember.
<<my mistake. heh heh heh>>
“Get your sleepy masturbating ass back in the kitchen and help Hop-a-Long and Free-
Beer cook the gawd damn food Junior! I swear, you’re dumber than the gay sex changin’
son I never wanted”, says Notnek.
<<wondering what that even means, you rub your eyes and grab your apron off of
the aptly named coffin freezer (you are pretty sure you will die cooking at this
restaurant) and rush past the Angry ‘Dad’ and back into the kitchen through the
Black Metal BackDoor of the Bucket o’ Blood>>
“You got it Boss”, you mumble.
<<once you are back on the cooking line again, alongside the other cook and the
Dishwasher (who also cooks), you grab your coffee cup and drain the last of the
whiskey you poured for breakfast. Hopskotch pats you on the back and starts to
take a stack of dishes out of the dishwasher. Free Dave maliciously grins at you and
throws a batch of fries into the fryer. there is a ticket printer by the microwave
(located on the shelf above the table where the waitresses grab the food you all
cook for them) and tickets start to spew forth from said ticket printer. a new
waitress (you cannot remember her name) comes straight from the bar computer
back into the kitchen. she tries explain to you what she really meant when she
types the customer’s order into the computer. in your mind you see a hamburger
with human legs and tightie whities dancing around in a green field. the
hamburger turns its back to you, sticks out its ass and slowly shakes it in a circular
motion. on the back of the underwear is printed the word ‘Juicy’. it is going to be
an awesome day Finnegan!>>