Enter Free Dave and the Waitresses
<<a female human of moderate height, with fire-engine red hair, black jeans and
and black t-shirt walks through the Black Metal Backdoor and into the Bucket o’
Blood kitchen. her name is Angel, and she is the Bartender during the daytime at
the Bucket o’ Blood and at the Belly Bar during the nighttime.>>
<<Angel walks in and greets the Reverend Mostly High Duff; who is on his way out
the Black Metal Backdoor to take a couple trash cans worth of trash to the
dumpster. Angel pounds fists with Hopskotch Sunday; who is washing dishes in the
dish pit. Angel then playfully slaps you on the ass, disrupting your attempt at
chopping onions to sauté, as she continues her walk up to the bar. Angel grabs a
bowl and wipes off the bar and the tables directly in front. this is where her paying
customers will sit. and she intends on serving them well before making them pay.
Angel then checks the beer coolers that hide from customer view under the bar.
calculating what needs to be stocked, Angel heads back to the walk in cooler in the
back room of the kitchen to obtain the beers that were consumed the previous
evening. after replenishing the supply of barley pop and oat soda, Angel walks back
and forth between the kitchen and the bar carrying buckets of ice to cover the cold
bottles of beer that now sit in the trough like coolers below the bar. this is done, so
that anytime a wayward customer comes into the Bucket o’ Blood and says,
“Cold Beer Sunshine.”, Angel can oblige the thirsty person’s request.>>
<<about thirty minutes after Angel the Bartender appeared at the Bucket o’ Blood,
the Waitresses start to wander in from their morning coffee runs. the Bartender
looks up from the bucket of ice she is pouring somewhere behind the bar; through
the window Angel sees the first to arrive is Theta. Theta, Angel thinks, is a jovial
and beautiful young woman with big breasts and way too much charm. Theta
inspires jealousy in Angel as she hands out friendly and sarcastic remarks to her
fellow cow-orkers whilst coming through the kitchen.>>
Cow-orkers? really bud?
<<sorry for trying to make your shitty life entertaining. moo-ving along cow.
eeeeveryone hold their questions until the tail end. Theta enters the kitchen. she is
carrying a box of doughnuts for the crew to breakfast upon.>>
“Morning kids!”, sings Theta.
“Morning love. Oh snap, dog nuts? you’re the best Theta!”, says Hopskotch.
“I know.”, says Theta.
“Did you bring dog nuts buddy?”. you ask. <<from your drunken fog, carrying two
buckets of fries.>>
“I did indeed, drinky-dear. Watch out, here comes Free Dave and Boss is right behind
him.”, says Theta.
<<Free Dave barrels in through the Black Metal Back Door of the Bucket o’ Blood.
Finnegan, you watch in silent camaraderie coupled with amusement as your fellow
drunken employee composes himself and walks from the back kitchen to the front
kitchen room. Free Dave, as you see him, is a male in his mid thirties of mixed
ethnicity. probably a bit CockAsian and Hispanic or Indian. but Finnegan- yourself
a bit Irish, French and various other traditionally heavy drinking ethnicities- don’t
really dwell too much upon what a person’s racial background is other than for
mental description. people are people whether pink, brown, red, purple, yellow or
green. we are all walking talking ,meat; you think. i think so too. mmmmm…
meat’s no treat to those you eat.>>
<<Free Dave has short dark brown hair, brown eyes and is around five foot, six
inches. he has muscular build with a pot-belly and the word “BEEGALS” tattooed in
old english across his chest. you know this because anytime the kitchen staff drinks
together, which is often, Free Dave inevitably rips off his shirt after a few drinks
(revealing all of his rock n’ roll tattoos) and begins to yell, “You don’t know!!”, at
anyone in the near vicinity.>>
<<apparently “the Beegals” are some grindcore death metal band from twenty years
ago that is still overplayed on the radio and in singles bars that you have, luckily.
never had the need or desire to go to…yet. Free Dave tried to make-out with you
one night after a kitchen/bar-staff party. you thought that Free Dave was a pretty
good kisser (very eager), but you were more interested in getting him out of your
van. after all, you had a child and your hot scientist husband to get home to. in
retrospect, you should have nailed the muscled mexican, as Free Dave will not
make eye contact with you after being thrown out of your van. atleast you did slow
<<Free Dave stumbles through the back kitchen and hits his head on a pot hanging
off of a ceiling hook and says,>> “Judas Priest!!! Damn…man, if anyone asks, I’m a little
drunk right now; but give me an hour err two and I’ll be fine.”, slurs Dave Sedairess.
<<or Free Dave, as he is known in these parts>>
<<Hopskotch stares at Free Dave in disapproval.>>
“Hey Hopskotch, did you hear president Dump is gonna get rid of all the black people?
Said he was gonna make ‘Merica’ gray again! Finish up them dishes and get ready to go
back to where ever you people are come from!”, says Free Dave.
<<Hopskotch laughs in Free Dave’s face>>
“You dumb son of a bitch, Tronald Dump said let’s make ‘Merica’ Gray because he
wanted to end race fights by coloring the white folks gray and lightening the black folks
and coloring them gray as well. Dump is gonna have your goofy looking ass colored too.
You racist prick.”, says Hopskotch Sunday.
<<Free Dave stumbles in place and wrinkles his mouth in thought process>>
“Huh? Well I guess you got me good there bud. You still feeding that delicious chocolate
cock to your buddy Finnegan?”, says Free Dave.
“God I hate you Dave. So, you’re telling me Hopskotch’s black cock is delicious huh?”,
“Is that right Free Dave?”, shouts the Angel from behind the bar.
<<Free Dave turns red and grabs his face with both hands>>
“Judas Priest, I gotta learn when to shut up.”, says Free Dave.
<<Hopskotch nods in agreement with Free as he passes the him carrying a rack of
clean dishes. dishes fresh from the dishwasher. you pat Free Dave on the back and
ask him to put up the food shipment that is coming in through the Black Metal
BackDoor off of the foodservice truck that just pulled up in the Bucket o’ Blood
“Alright, hold on to yer panties. Let me clock in and grab a cup of coffee. I need to get
my mind right.”, says Free Dave. <<he whines for mercy and demands respect all at
the same time>>
<<Notnek walks in delivering groceries out of his own truck, stacks them on the pile
of foodservice truck groceries and hollers,>>
“Damnit Junior, let’s get this shit put up!”
“Oooh, let me get that for ya Boss!”, says Free Dave. <<crooning as he hands Notnek his
cup of coffee (as if he poured it for Notnek) in exchange for a couple bags of food
stuffs in Notnek’s hands.>>
<<Notnek looks at Free Dave with suspicion. Notnek sniffs at the cup of coffee.
Notnek takes a step toward Free Dave and sniff’s his breath and says,>> “Junior, you
got another guy comin?”
“No Boss.”, <<you say. you wonder (hopefully) if Boss is gonna send people home
who smell like alcohol>>
<<Free Dave hustles to the back of the kitchen, bags in tow. you grab a pile of
groceries to restock the front kitchen and Notnek follows to go over the daily
specials with you.>>
“Alright, let’s see what we want for the three daily specials.”, says Notnek the Boss.
“What if we only had one daily special? Now that would better emphasize the
specialness of it, would it not?”, you say.
<<you look to the Boss with hope in your eyes. Notnek looks at the Cook (you) with
loathing in his eyes.>>
“Nice try Junior. Let’s see… Day One will be Pirate Paul’s Chicken Salad of course. Day
Two is Meatloaf with Mashed Pomme de Terre. Annnd Day Three is Gumbo and
Cornbread. Does that sound about right?”, says Notnek.
“Right arm. You got it Boss.”, you say. <<you try to give a pleasant and reassuring
smile. the Boss leaves the kitchen to yell at the Waitresses and to write the Daily
Specials on the special Special Board by the front door of the Bucket o’ Blood.
Hopskotch and Free Dave walk up next to you, standing behind the cook line of the
front kitchen. the three of you stare beyond this cooking area out the dining room
door and longingly at the Bartender and bottles of happiness behind the bar.>>
“Uggg, that’s a lot of cooking to do before we open and start cooking…”, you say.
<<Hopskotch groans in agreement and Free Dave turns away from the two of you
and grabs a cigarette out of the Boss’s pack of cigarettes on his desk and walks out
the Black Metal BackDoor of the Bucket o’ Blood to smoke.>>
“That lazy Culo Payaso…”, says Hopskotch Sunday.
<<Hopskotch Sunday calling Free Dave an “ass clown” in spanish always makes you
smile. mainly due to the picture it paints in your head, but also because you rarely
see your buddy Hopskotch express real anger. Hopskotch is always a jovial guy.
happy go lucky Hop. so you suppress your grin and raise your hands before you;
imitating Jesus at his last supper>>
“Let us pray, that the “BEEGALS” reunite to write a song mocking Free Dave’s existence
and that the Cook and the Dishwasher at the Bucket o’ Blood survive another day. I now
return to the tasks that lay here before my Hamburger Hands.”, you say.
“Don’t pray at me Finnegan!! Don’t prey on me!!”, yells Hopskotch. <<he washes dishes
in disgust and rebellion of your religious display>>