13 WTCCH 4325

“Is it not crystal clear , then, Comrades, that all evils of this life of ours spring from the tyranny of human beings?  Only get rid of Man, and the produce of our labour would be our own.  Almost overnight we could become rich and free.  What then must we do?  Why, work night and day, body and soul, for the overthrow of the human race!  That is my message to you, comrades: Rebellion!”

– Old Major, from George Orwell’s Animal Farm (1945)

 

WTCCH 4325

<<welcome to a dream Finnegan.  this is a picture of the future.  one of many futures to picture.  it is the year 4325, are you surprised Mankind is still alive?  there is a city.  it looks like a cross between twenty third century Oklahellmouth City and Rome after being sacked by Alaric I.  there are wrecks of vehicles on fire in the streets and in the air.  buildings stand gutted by fire and explosion.  corporate bank building skyscrapers look like cave dwellings.  look…there!  do you see the humans dressed in rags, running in terror?  there they are, running from Cowmen creatures dressed in military garb.  the Cowmen carry their guns in their humanoid hands as they walk on their hind legs in the streets.  it is very much like the Minotaur chasing his sacrificial youths and maidens through Daedalus’s Labrynth, eh?  this looks way more interesting than watching you abuse the walls in your flat.  do you not agree Finnegan?  do you not think…so?>>

     

Totally.

 

<<we see a black skinned man with a beard, a shaved head and a shotgun.  in one hand this familiar man holds a machete that he uses to cut off the head of one Cowman and then another.   “Hopskotch!!!”, screams another bald head.  but this angry being is not something that you would call human.  the name of your dishwashing buddy is cried out by a human head perched atop a cow torso, complete with gore dripping udders, six arms, two legs and a tail with a blade tied at the end.  this being is called Notnek.  two of his arms are human arms, and the other four are cow limbs with human hands attached where the hooves used to be.  the human hands’ knuckles are covered in a bone/hoof like material.  on Notnek’s back at the base of his head is located a cow’s head, fully animated and just as full of rage as his man head.  this man/cow monster stands naked except for a red Hawaiian print button up shirt, custom made to fit his six arms of anger.>>

 

“Gawd Damnit Junior!!!  Someday I’ll wear your intestines as a necklace!!”, screams the Notnek monster. <<in a fiery rage.>>

 

<<along side the sword swinging, shotgun wielding Hopskotch is another human holding a double sided ax in one hand and a book (from which she is reading aloud from)in the other.  this woman is long haired, war weary, with shocks of gray in her purple and brown mane.  she is intent on reading from the book.  her name is Finnegan.  this woman looks a lot like you, except older and sober.>>

<<old sober Finnegan pages though the book and to Hopskotch says:>>

“Are you sure the words are in here Hop?”

 

“Yes!”, replies Hopskotch Sunday.

 

“I mean really, James fucking Joyce?!  That is what the giant spider sold you?”, says Finnegan.  <<asked a bit incredulously.>>

 

“Page 319 damnit!!  Start on the line Anansi highlighted.”, says Hopskotch.  

<<bellowing over the cries of other soldiers dying in battle.>>

 

“Can’t I just say Klatuu, Baradda, Niktoe and be done with it?!”, says Finnegan.

<<jesting in the face of danger is a reoccurring theme for you huh, Finn?>>

 

<<an explosion answers you.>>

 

“We can’t hold the line any longer guys, now or never!”, shouts another longhaired human.  <<he is leading another group of humans fighting off Notnek and his Cowmen army.>>

 

<<Hopskotch glances at Finnegan and gestures for her to read.  Finnegan throws her ax at a cow that comes too close and turns to page 319.>>

 

Finnegan chants, “I shot be shaded, throttle me, fine me cow heel for never.  Unsquebauched and ersewild aleconner, consumer, consume her for bringing Briars to Brembracken and raining rings round old Demetrius!”

 

<<an explosion knocks old sober Finnegan to her knees.  she shouts these final words:>>  “Cholk and Murble in Lonestime!!!”

 

<<after these words are spoken, a flash of lightning comes down from the sky and opens a doorway between Hopskotch, Finnegan and Notnek.  out of the doorway crawls a ten foot spider with a human head.>>

 

“I am Anansi, the guardian of the web of time.  You have summoned me with your book of words, human woman.  What is your wish?  Finnegan?  Wow!  I didn’t recognize you girl!  You look older and…sober.  Weird.  What’s up bud?”, says Anansi the spider.

 

<<Anansi is an enormous spider with a huge human head (a head that oddly enough looks a lot like ‘MErican’ actor, George Taki.  Finnegan steps toward the doorway of light, holds up the book, points to Hopskotch and says:>>

“James fucking Joyce?!  Really Anansi?”

 

<<Anansi tilts his human head back and laughs, the laughter shakes his whole spider body and sends vibrations through the web of time.  the whole world seems to shimmer and a wave of air passes through everyone and everything.>>

 

“Everyone’s a critic.”, says Anansi the spider.

 

“Hopskotch and I seek passage to 2016 A.D. ‘MErica’, before the Horde takes hold of this planet.”, says Finnegan.

 

<<G.T. Anansi looks from you to Hopskotch Sunday to Notnek, to all the soldiers fighting on both sides of the battle and says:>>  “Yeah I can dig that.  I’d rather be there myself, come on through the doorway.  Wait, do you guys now serve the Dark Lord Azathoth now per chance?”

 

“Who?  No…uh, Hop is an Atheist and I’m a Catholic.  And we just got here a few years ago.  Should we be worshiping… whats it’s name?”, future you says.

 

“Ahhh… I dig.  Not to influence your alliance in matters at the Cosmic Level…but Long Live the Resistance to the dark forces of the Oklahellmouth!!!  You guys ready to roll?”, says Anansi the G.T. headed time traveling spider.  

 

<<Finnegan and Hopskotch Sunday turn and look at one another and then back to the science fiction actor’s head perched upon a giant spider’s body and cry:>>

“Truck Yeah!” and “Yes!!”

<<and with those words Anansi, guardian of the web of time, shoots a line of web around Finnegan and Hopskotch and turns, scuttling back into the doorway of light.  back through the tear in the fabric of time.  the Finn and the Hop follow the Spider and hop on through, pulled by the web.>>

“Nooooo!!!”, roars Notnek.  <<both from his human and cow mouths.  Notnek falls to his hands and feet and starts to charge the doorway of light, like a raging bull.  the group of human resistance fighters circles around Hopskotch and Finnegan’s exit door, increasing their firepower.  as Notnek plows though humans and reaches the doorway of light, Finnegan and Hopskotch have both leapt through it.  they carry their weapons, the book, and the fate of the human species into History…errr…Herstory?  half man, half cow, and pure rage follows suit tearing up the human resistance.>>

 

 

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12 An independent study shows:

‘MErican’President Dump in a letter to Vladimir GAberaham Linkynd:

To my most excellent sincere, Best Friend, Vladimir GAberaham Linkynd

I tell you V-Dubbs, I have created enough digital diary content on book face over the span of enough years to conduct emotional weather forecast research on myself.
I wonder how voice dictation is going to change the English language through use of the MyPhone and text messaging.
I think the business minded managerial hijackers with humanitarian motivations could take over UPS and FedEx companies and end world under hunger famine and, and, and the spread of disease.
I don’t want to spend my time on acquiring shiny things that I don’t need or to waste more time thinking of women that I don’t want to love.
The hand me down rise of Third World nations thru logistics companies overthrown, business turned humanitarian from the inside.  My fortune cookie, It told me I’m attached but I’m emotionally unavailable.

V-Dubbs, I think our government should eradicate taxes on small businesses, local minded businesses and then put the financing of local public education in their hands as well.  The businesses are educating their families and their communities, their workers and their customer base.  The more we educate ourselves, the smarter we get.
Invest in books you always said, right V-Dubbs, ol’ boy?

A great man once said: The meaning of Economiks is choice.  R-squared is just meaning “how well does the model explain the variation.”, and that man was me.

Love and bigly words, and to our long lasting and super enduring friendship,

Big D.

 

 

Vladimir GAberaham Linkynd in a letter to President Dump:

Big D!!

How are you my little buddy?  I tip my stove pipe hat to you.  Thank you very much for the heads up on the Lord Isis terrorists And their anti-Russian (s.i.c.) & ‘MErican’ shenanigans.

Tell her your Yiddish illuminati liberals that the left-wing cannot strap us all back to the gold standard, it could force our countries to pursue deflationary policies at exactly the time when we need expansionary measures to address rising unemployment of our Proles.   Make Russia_sic & ‘MErica’ mo’ betta again and again, no?

Wine is not made in a day nor are factories that build hybrid cars running on sunshine and rainbows.

Yours truthfully in coercion,

Vlad the imp tailor

11 Pro-life Pro-log

Virus:

<<hey you>>

 

 

Finnegan:

Hrrrrnnnn………What?  Me?

 

<<yeah you, Drinkety Drunk.  heads up>>

 

Finnegan:

It is dark and my head feels like an olympic size swimming pool.  I am stuck, dead center.  I am floating.  I am only a head, no body.  I am immobile…and there’s this voice talking to me…

 

<<Prelude to your madness:>>

Vladimir GAberaham Linkynd:


It is a cool summer night in Cametaride, Masseschew, West ‘MErica’. It is a moment of siege and this moment is July, 1775, Anno Domini. A tall pale man in a blue coat stands in the doorway of a wooden building. The man massages his rib cage and feels the cool night air as it flows in and out of his lungs. This man’s name is Adam Washington. He watches a woman in her 30’s stitch stars made of white cotton fabric onto a blue cotton square. Each star is marked with an eye that looks out accusingly at any viewer of the flag. Adam sips warm water from a nearby flask. He turns to put down his drink and looks at a military map on the table just inside the doorway he stands in. We know not if Adam liked what he read on the map because his attention is suddenly pulled back to the scene outside the doorway. The woman sewing stars is gone and in her place is a cow. The cow turns to look at Adam. Adam does not like the look of the cow. He yells, “Go away!”, at the four legged being.

The cow does not leave Adam. Instead the cow rushes at Adam and knocks him to the floor inside the wooden building.

The cow stands over the fallen Washington, pinning him to the floor with its thick hooves. Adam struggles with the beast until he is interrupted by the footsteps of another man walking through the doorway.

“Weishaupt?! What in hell do you want now? Get this monster off of me Gee-ogre, please!”, cries Adam.

Gee-ogre Weishaupt ignores the call of Adam. He proceeds to raise his hands, which hold a gun to the eye level of the fallen Adam. We don’t know if Weishaupt would have killed Washington just then, for he himself is struck to the ground by a blow from a man portentous and gaunt. This man wears a black beard and stovepipe hat.

“Vladimir GAberaham Linkynd, at your service gentlemen. I am afraid only one of you are to leave here alive.”, says the bearded, stovepipe hat wearing rogue. Adam and Gee-ogre are both discouraged, because the man threatening at least one of their lives is carrying a giant axe in his hands. A stern black haired woman joins  Linkynd in the doorway and puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Hurry up and kill him. Adam has a country to win a war for.”, says the grim faced woman.

She sips an amber liquid from a highball glass and smokes a black cigarette as she watches on emotionlessly.

“Don’t you mean Gee-ogre?”, asks Vladimir GAberaham Linkynd.

He raises his axe and steps into the room. Screams of bloodshed and terror fill the wooden building. The austere woman raises a fresh cigarette to her lips and lights it with a zippo lighter.

“Sure, whomever. The hour is late and we have a spider’s web to climb.”, she says, exhaling smoke.

Men Scream. Blood Splatters. And a Cow goes Moo.


Brought to you by the National Endowment for the Dark Arts.

Currency Exchange in the Age of the Flip Flop

Article by: thefatherphil, author of: When the Cows Come Home

Contributor – the Know Nothing Digest

 

Executive Summary

 

The following is a discussion of Keynesian economic theory and Classical economic theory, the theories’ origins, the theories’ leading economic supporters, the application of these theories in recent history, and the effect of these theories on foreign currency exchange rates.  This paper is dedicated to the boiling down of the role of foreign currency manipulation in the modern world’s financial industries and a brief explanation of how we, as a society, got where we are now.  The aim of the paper is to demystify why the principles surrounding and controlling the World’s money supply remain in-flux.

 

Currency Exchange, Classical and Keynesian Economic Theory, and the Age of the Flip Flop

 

In opening, let us discuss what is meant by the term, Classical Economics.  What is now Classical economics arguably began as Feudalism and slowly gave way to Capitalism.  As economists, we define Feudalism as a societal construct based on legal and military customs that were in effect in medieval Europe from the 9th to the 15th centuries, and we define Capitalism as an economic system based on the rule of law with a focus on property rights.  We further define property rights as the private ownership of the means of production for profit.  Capitalism has been propelled into dominance by the Industrial Revolution.  Classical Economics is the philosophical hand that pulled medieval society out of the peasant slums.  Arguably, the study of aggregate supply and demand has lead to an almost complete minimization of forcible removal of the World’s Heads of State by proletariats and foreign detractors.  (Farnham, P. G. 2014)

 

Today, the theory of Classical economics is considered to have been constructed into cohesive theory by writer and economic philosopher Adam Smith, in his 1776 book, the Wealth of Nations.  Followers of Classical economics believe that free open markets generally regulate themselves, granted they are free of coercion.  Adam Smith called this market self control the “invisible hand.”  Smith’s “invisible hand” means that economic actors interact with each other in mutually beneficial ways so that supply in reality equals demand and vice versa, under certain economic conditions.  However, monopolies or any type of monetary coercion or even just a general lack of market competition completely interrupts the self control of the invisible hand.  The Classical economic theory insists that government economic intervention is just another unnatural interruption of the open market’s self correction process, and that in the long run the open market will stabilize itself.  (Opitz, 1976)

 

The United States stock market crash of 1929 and the United States housing bubble burst of 2006 are both examples of United States market contraction after a period of rapid expansion.  High revenue return from the stock market in the 1920’s and from the housing market bubble in the 1990’s and early 2000’s flooded the international market with US currency.  This excess US currency devalued the dollar and made foreign investment in the United States less appealing.  All of these factors resulted in high unemployment and decreased US business expenditure.  Aggregate supply and demand both decreased.  Classical economic theorists did not have positive news for the suffering masses involved in the ensuing economic crises.       

 

John Maynard Keynes argued that governments should solve problems in the short run rather than waiting for market forces to do it in the long run, because, “in the long run, we are all dead.”  Keynes is the British economist who popularized what came to be known as Keynesian economic theory.  In contrast to Classical economic theorist Friedrich August Hayek, J.M. Keynes believed that those in power who have a means of easing the economic fluctuations between boom and bust should do so.  Hayek speculated that deficit spending does not lessen economic suffering, but puts off the open market self correction until a later date.  These two schools of thought are still debated today.  Keynesian economic theory became the prominent economic theory in 1939 and prevailed until United States president Richard Nixon brought it (down with him) out of favour during the oil crisis of 1973-1979. (O’Driscoll Jr, 2010)

 

After the Great Crash but before Nixon Shock, a new international monetary system was established in Bretton Woods, New Hampshire, in the United States in 1944.  This international monetary system has become known as the Bretton Woods system.  This system was concocted to promote global economic growth, to ensure the stability of foreign currency exchange rates, and to prevent competitive devaluations (at least among the 44 nations attending the Bretton Woods conference.)  

 

Harry Dexter White and John Maynard Keynes laid the groundwork and began organization of the International Monetary Fund and the World Bank at the Bretton Woods conference in 1944.  The International Monetary Fund (or IMF) is self described as, “189 countries working to foster global monetary cooperation, secure financial stability, facilitate international trade, promote high employment and sustainable economic growth, and reduce poverty around the world.”  The international money cartel works together to stabilize each other’s currencies and to promote high employment and international trade to continue growth of each country’s economies through the collection of statistics and data.  The data and statistics collected are concerning monetary policy and economic activity of the partnering nations.  The data concerning Balance of Payments (or B.O.P.) is especially important when making monetary policy decisions over currency valuation.  If one country imports more than it exports than most likely this country’s currency supply would exceed foreign market demand for it and create the apparent need to devalue the oversupplied currency.  The World Bank publicises itself as an institution attempting to reduce international poverty.  Quite literally however, the World Bank is a financial institution that loans funds to countries on this planet for investment in infrastructure or for disaster relief or for protective military funding.  Both the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund are products of the Bretton Woods Conference.  It was at Bretton Woods, where these international financial institutions were conceptualized and organized by academic debate chiefly between British economist John Maynard Keynes and American economist Harry Dexter White.

Similar to Charter of the Forest a.k.a., the Magna Carta in 1215, and the Plaza Accord,  the conference at Bretton Woods was to establish rules for trade between independent nation-states with the intent on facilitating open market trade.  At the Bretton Wood conference, the nations pledged to adopt a monetary policy that tied each nation’s currency to gold, re-institutionalizing the gold standard.  This was to bridge the temporary imbalances of payments.  Keynes pushed for the IMF and World Bank to offer strong financial incentives for countries to avoid excessive trade deficits or surpluses, but Harry Dexter White used the US’s greater negotiating strength to establish a more conservative international banking institution.  (Steil, 2013)          

 

In addition to heading efforts on the part of the United States to organize a world banking cartel, Harry Dexter White was also revealed to have given Soviet agents classified American treasury documents by the predecessor to the National Security Agency, the U.S. Army’s Signal Intelligence Service.  If not an agent of the Soviet union, then an unwitting accomplice to Soviet spies, Harry Dexter White died suddenly of a heart attack after being exposed in 1948.

 

Keynesian theory recommends utilizing counter-cyclical economic policies to help regulate the open market.  Such counter-cycles include:

  1. Deficit spending on a country’s infrastructure, such as building or repairing roads and bridges, to stimulate a reverse on unemployment.
  2. Raising taxes in attempt to prevent inflation during periods of excess growth in demand.

 

In contrast, Classical economic theory suggests governments should raise taxes during an economic downturn and cut taxes when there are budget surpluses.  Classical economic theory proposes governments balance their budgets, while Keynesian economic theory holds that there appropriate times and legitimate reasons for a government to spend in excess of taxable revenue collected.  Keynesian economic theory was brought into the public sphere during such an appropriate time, during the Great Depression in the United States.  Keynes felt that any saving in excess of planned investment was excessive saving, from an overall economic viewpoint.  It was to be discouraged, because on a grand scale, excessive saving practiced by the masses induces economic activity gridlock.  If all individuals in an economy are saving, then no one is spending.  The economy enters a depression.  Firms’ inventories start to pile up in what economists call a general glut.  

 

In 1971 US president Richard Nixon initiated a series of economic measures that unilaterally canceled the convertibility of the US dollar to gold.  These actions actions essentially abolished the Bretton Woods international financing system and replaced it with a free floating fiat currency exchange rate system in 1973 with the Smithsonian Agreement. (Office of the Historian, 2017)     

When Nixon faced impeachment he had just finished publicly declaring the Keynesian leanings of US economists, so the nation’s economists turned to Hayek’s Classical economic theory for direction.  In light of the housing bubble and the following banking giant crises; Barack Obama lead the US back down the Keynesian path to “bail out the banks for a better today.”

 

Ben Bernanke’s performance as chairman at the US Federal Reserve during the banking crisis in 2008 is widely considered to having saved America and by proxy, the rest of the world, from another Great Depression.  Barack Obama was widely criticized for supporting Fed Policy during the bailout of American/globalist banks that made unsafe loans and investments but were considered “too big to fail” due to catastrophic global economic consequences.

Whether Obama’s Keynesian effort to bail out the Big Banks of Wall Street will prove to be successful or have global adverse effects like the Plaza Accord did on Japan remains to be seen.  During the 1980’s the US dollar appreciated 50% against the next four countries with the largest  economies, Japan, England, West Germany and France.  The Plaza Accord was an international agreement between these countries to devalue the US dollar against the German Deutsche Mark and the Japanese Yen.  Groups of firms across the United States rallied together in protest to the accord.  The Plaza Accord was seen by US Business as economic manipulation or coercive  globalization at best.  Companies like IBM and Caterpillar Inc. and Motorola lobbied Congress to pass protectionist laws for United States Business.  The White House was inspired to host the Plaza Accord in New York City in light of upcoming trade restrictions possibly passed by the heavily lobbied US Congress.   In this example of foreign currency manipulation, the US firms lobbied for Congress to follow Classical economic theory, whereas the White House was inclined to pursue Keynesian economic theory in the Plaza Accord.

 

A new development in the study and or discipline of economic theory is the use of computer generated economic models based on collected and analysed global economic data.  This data comes from organizations such as World Bank and the International Monetary Fund.  BlackRock, Inc, is a modern US investment firm, that has supported the inclusion of mainland Chinese companies on the stock exchange  

 

While there are numerous other incidences of what is considered “foreign and domestic currency manipulation” that are important to understand the general environment of the World economy today; the above discussion is a minimalistic summary of this all encompassing field.  The reader should explore further the concepts discussed here and develop better informed decisions in regards to their role in the global economy.  Economics is the study of choices and as Business Persons, while our world becomes more and more economically interconnected it is becoming increasingly important to act as responsible global citizens in our micro and macroeconomic actions.  In the real world currency manipulation is not an economic crime, but a tool to prevent economic catastrophe.  It would seem that a mixture of Classical economic theory and Keynesian economic theory is essential to balancing today’s global economy and preventing or reversing government and or private sector due to unforseen consequences of our firms’ actions.   

 

Works Cited:

 

http://www.businessinsider.com/r-ex-fed-chair-bernanke-wanted-to-stop-aig-default-not-punish-firm-2014-10

 

 

10 On a Certain Sunday


<<loud electronic music with an ageless female’s voice sweetly reverberates through a one room apartment. the room is well lit due to several spot lights clamped to various pieces of furniture and wall fixtures. there is the smell of fresh coffee and of sizzling bell peppers. a dark brown skinned man is sitting at a drawing table, sketching a pretty red headed girl firing a laser gun at a space monster. the man is named Hopskotch Sunday. he draws and drinks coffee as his breakfast of kale, peppers and eggs sauté on the stove. he has long, clean black and brown dreadlocks tied back with various strips of red ribbon. the man finishes his drawing and his cooking and takes both over to a chair in front of his computer. he scans the art into his art blog, and consumes the breakfast with his mouth. after updating, hopskotchsunday.com, Hopskotch use his Backmook Prole computer to check his email. the first email is a comment about the drawing he just posted online. “I love the way you drew that girl’s hair mister Sunday! We should get married. I have never had a real boyfriend before but I’m not a virgin and am ready to move out of my stepfather’s house. He’s kind of an ass, but you’ll haft meet him at least once before the wedding…” Hopskotch laughs and closes the email. Hopskotch Sunday is pretty well known in the current ‘Merican’ art scene, but he is an world wide icon in the realm of laughter.>>

<<during the first week of Hopskotch Sunday’s tenure as the Dishwasher of the Bucket o’ Blood, Hopskotch was summoned out of the kitchen by a bar patron who heard Hopskotch laughing about something in the kitchen. after meeting the man behind the laugh; the bar patron, named Benny, insisted on buying the Dishwasher several pints of his favorite beer. this beer is called Samuel Hein. it was bought in the attempt to get Hopskotch to sit and talk and laugh with Benny the bar patron; which Hopskotch gladly did. this blatant encouragement of employee joviality infuriated Hopskotch’s boss, Notnek, a great deal. after declining the offer for marriage from his random internet fan; Hopskotch moves on to check his email account for new messages from his comic book publisher. the pretty girl shooting space monsters that Hopskotch was drawing is a character in his new comic, “The Space Friend Ship”. Hopskotch hopes to make enough money selling his comic book to quit his day job (not before he tells Notnek to “eat a big ol’ bag of dicks”). sadly there are no new messages from Hopskotch’s publisher this morning.>>

<<Hopskotch sighs and says,>> “Guess I’d better show up at the day job then… but first it is time to break the fast!!!”

<<Hopskotch switches from reading his email on the computer screen to reading off of his mobile device. as the Myphone 9 uploads the current onslaught of personal and mass email, Hopskotch thinks of cooking. in his mind’s eye, Hopskotch Sunday walks back through the steps that lead to creating his first meal of the day. he pulls a pan, a cutting board and a knife out of his various cabinets. all the cabinetry in his studio apartment have stickers of different bands Hopskotch likes along with dozens of magazine clippings and random drawings affixed their doors. this is a convenient way to remind himself of the awesomeness that lay out there beyond the Oklahellmouth City border. and this habit of affixing images of things he likes to the surfaces of his dwelling just keeps him in his trademark Hopskotch Sunday good mood. this morning Hopskotch had decided to fix one of his favorite breakfast dishes of recent. he takes half a bunch of kale and washes and chops it into bits, stem and all. after coating his pan in olive oil (wrung from the bodies of virgin olives sacrificed in the prime of their lives) Hopskotch slides in the kale and adds some fresh red onion and yellow bell pepper that he had pre-chopped and stored in his fridge. as the veggies sauté, Hopskotch grabs some garlic to peel and chop, and some egg to crack. breaking him from his cooking meditation, Hopskotch’s Myphone 9 pings and he leaves his memories of preparing breakfast and glances down at his phone screen. there is a message from his best friend Finnegan. the title of the email is “Help Hopskotch”. it reads: “Woke up this morning and found my baby gone…” Hopskotch Sunday sits back in his computer chair, takes a sip of coffee and wonders exactly what Finnegan means. Finnegan is a fan of cryptic speech and blues music. Hopskotch knows the email contains the line from an old Robert Johnson blues song. Hopskotch, or Hop as his friends sometimes call him, also knows that Finnegan (you) can be a bit of a drama queen sometimes. ok, most times. especially if you have had a little too much wine (or Jesus Juice as you like to call it.) Hopskotch puts his phone down, tastes his cooking food and chops up some more garlic to add to his dish. as he separates bits of skin from the clove, Hopskotch thinks back to how he became friends with the Bucket o’ Blood’s latest kitchen manager.>>


<<Hopskotch Sunday and Finnegan L’Argent du Sang met each other in a Painting class at the Ticky Tacky University, where they both attend. their professor, George Afedzi Hughes, saw right away that their work had similar intentions and suggested that the two collaborate on a painting or two. after arguing over starting points and subject matter during their two hour long late afternoon class, Hop and you decided to go get some food (and wine) and work on the painting later that evening. Finnegan took Hopskotch to her favorite sushi joint, El Pescado Crudo, which was right next door to the Howdy Partner Pizzeria. Hopskotch did not quite know his way around town yet, as he was a recent transplant to Normal Towne.>>

“I just moved down here for school. I’m most recently from Oklahellmouth City. It is a stones throw from here by train.”, explains Hopskotch.

“Yeah I have been there several times when I was a kid. Other than my time in the service, I’ve lived in Normal Towne all of my life.”, you say.

<<with your trademark sad bastard monotone of voice.>>

“It’s a pretty big, modern city. Well it is for what passes for modern in Oklahellmouth these days anyway.”, you say.

“Yeah it’s not bad for a West ‘Merican’ city. There’s a subway to ride around, art galleries to see eye candy, sushi bars to get food imported from the coasts. a few big buildings to look up at. Although I do prefer the architecture of the Eurasian redneck cities in southeastern Oklahellmouth.”, confides Hopskotch.

“Oh you mean like Naaww-Leans in Anna-Louis or CharliesBrowne in Sweeeet Caroline…or what is left of those faded cities of yesteryear?”, you ask.

“Yeah you got it man. They have more interesting architecture and the people have an old world charm. Almost like class. Ja ja ja. It’s like being alive is more of an adventure for them, not just ‘getting by’ like they…I mean we, do here in midwestern Oklahellmouth.”, says Hopskotch Sunday.

“That is too true. The getting by part. Plus all the drinking festivals with women showing off their breasts for plastic jewelry is also pretty appealing too, right?”, you say with a smile in your words.

“You’re not wrong Finn!”, says Hopskotch with a laugh.

<<Hopskotch tops off each of your glasses with the customary Saké that you drink with your meal of sushi. after dinner you decide that the two of you should grab another bottle of wine and head back up to the painting studio to take another shot at artistic collaboration. this leads to a fast friendship between you two artists. it also leads to many evenings painting and drinking Jesus Juice until the early morning. you and Hopskotch develop a painting routine full of debauchery that many artists have been prone to embrace throughout the centuries. you would finish off an evening’s second or third bottle of Brohemian Grove Pinot Noir and exclaim, “I’ve been drinking that Jesus Juice, and now I’m speaking nothing but truth. Capitalism is just paid slavery. Let’s paint untill the cows come home!” Hopskotch would smile and shake his head knowingly and giggle at your proclamations. the two of you would paint and Hopskotch would listen to you rant about the socio-economic status of persons who lived far from the wealth and luxury of West ‘Merican’ cities like the Oklahellmouth. from time to time you would roam the streets of Normal Towne, long after the painting and drinking and the Hopskotch had finished their day. You would be hesitant to go home, as Ruben was often away working overnight in his Laboratory McCow Towne. you and your husband spent much time lost in your separate worlds.>>

<<you, miss Finnegan were focused on your drinking. and,>>

Fuck you Virus.

<<sorry, not sorry. you were focused on what was wrong with the internal wiring of society, of external human relations. Ruben was preoccupied by thoughts of rewiring the internal human physical condition. atleast that was what Ruben always told you was on his mind. Ruben tried to seem completely open about the work that he did in his laboratory. so ofcourse you knew that he was hiding something. you often told Hopskotch that what Ruben said and what Ruben did were most likely two different things. Ruben would go into extensive details about his work that would make your wine woozy head swoon with images worthy of a science fiction film. long story short, the two of you were in love with love and each focused on your own separate agendas. just like most other human couples. you and he worked regularly at giving each other glimpses of what was going on in the work the two of you did. and at many times each of you could not find interest in eachother’s thoughts.>>

At least I tried… Well not every day of course…but… Never mind.

<<quit crying Finnegan. i do not have any brain tissues. you and Ruben’s shortcomings were not a problem both the two of you at first. you and he still had much to talk about when you actually did spend evenings together. it did seem for a time that your marriage could withstand your bouts of mental instability and Ruben’s indifference and distance. but Hopskotch has noticed that you and he have not been painting together much as of late.>>

Hey! I still paint some… I have had a lot on my mind…

<<riiiiiight… Hopskotch has been as focused as ever, but you have been distracted by problems with your family. Ruben and you have been arguing over money. Ruben and his movie star looks and personality had come from money. his father actually was some sort of successful business man in the land of movie magic, Kaliphonyia. this is a magical land that defies the ocean rise and inland drought at the western edge of Oklahellmouth. as of late, you and Ruben did not have much money. in the beginning, the money was plentiful from Ruben’s family, and even more money from Ruben’s laboratory’s research and development. but the inventions and scientific breakthroughs caused controversy in the greater scientific community. this controversy lead to lawsuits. there were well funded medical institutions on the opposing side of the lawsuits, such as the ‘Merican’ Dental Association and the ‘Merican’ Cancer Society. the lawsuits dried up Ruben’s research money. as for the money from Ruben’s father, it vanished suddenly as well. a few years back Ruben announced to his father that he was going to have a child with his painter wife from Normal Towne; his father (you still did not know his name) became enraged. Ruben’s father swore that he would never send his son another dime. but that was fine because Ruben and Finnegan were so very much in love and wanted to start a family and change the world. their love would overshadow their debt and lower middle class poverty.>>

You’re mocking me aren’t you? This is what mockery sounds like from a disembodied voice inside my head isn’t it?

<<you and Ruben always spoke of a revolution that you two would start. as the Ruben-Finnegan Duo started their life with their child, Baby Thor, everything seemed possible. despite the fact that you and your husband were financially disowned by Ruben’s wealthy coastal family. but you did not know them anyway. it would not make much difference on the shape of your dreams, would it?>>

Your foreshadowing blows Virus.

<<Hopskotch warned you early on that,>> “Folks that come with money don’t tend to stay too long with folks that don’t”

<<you assured your friend that,>> “This thing with me and Ruben is different man, we are soul mates, you dig?”

<<before long, the lack of money became a serious issue between you and Ruben. your child, the beautiful boy named after the god of thunder, was growing up fast and Ruben wanted to send him to a private school. it was around the time that the fights were becoming a daily occurrence, that Ruben’s father Ace (suddenly Ruben became compelled to tell you his father’s name.) invited Ruben and Baby Thor (not you) to come and visit the Kaliphonia family estate. Ace wanted to meet his grandson after all. and there were things that Ace needed to discuss with Ruben. it was after Ruben and Baby Thor returned from their Kaliphonia vacation that the fights over private school ended.>>

Ace paid for the schooling.

<<in both East and West ‘Merica’ the humans had embraced two types of schools. the first was known as a private school. this is code speak for “upper class” training camp. private school/upper class training camp was formulated to educate and enhance, to positively influence the minds of the little persons who attended them. these schools charged a considerable fee for this service ofcourse. the second type of school system is known as public school (a.k.b.s.a. as free school.) this type of school was devised to educate little people who attended it in the ways of something called the status quo. the status quo is where free school children learn how to grow up and work for private school/upper class children. the free school children could look forward to a life of doing things like cooking food or cleaning toilets or mowing yards or wiping butts or even holding doors and welcoming the private school children into big box multi-product stores. here the private school children would spend lots of money on things that both types of school systems taught the children to need and want desperately. this need, along with the status quo idea, is part of what is called “the free market economy”. do not be fooled by the “free” part. there is no such thing as a free market or free food. speaking of markets and food, Hopskotch Sunday has finished his breakfast and email reading. the Dishwasher washes his dishes, smokes some weed, grabs his apron and bicycle and rides in search of his buddy the Cook.>>