05 The Virus takes the Lead

(Talking inside the Cook’s Head)

<<hello friend, it is me, the Virus. i am going to tell you the story of how i came to be inside you, and most everything else that i could get my hands…err…DNA on. i will narrate. i will speak about you and others in the story whom i have found interesting. and as i process the thoughts of you and THEM, i will experiment with the grammar and structure of your human language along THE WAY, to tell the story as i see fit. not that this is all that important in relaying the series of events back to you, MY INITIAL HOST, but i would like for the story to be more coherent for the consumption of random acolytes in the future generations of human and other beings created in my image.>>

“Hrrrrn…?”, you think.

<<we are inside your head. think of this as a not so lucid lucid dream.>>

“Dreams and Dreaming…”, you mentally mumble. “I am having the strangest dreams tonight.”

<<some night huh? i wish i could have been at that art show too.>>

You’re a funny little voice…heh heh heh…

<<thanks Finnegan. i like to think of myself as wise and witty. i…>>

Yeah I like vegetables.

<<i am sorry, you what?>>

Nooo…I mean, I feel like a vegetable…mmmm…hmmm…

<<it is humorous that you should say that, because you are in a vegetative state. remember all that drinking you did when your husband left you and stole your son?>>

Hey! I know a really good, no no, great recipe for a generic vegetable stew! You want I should tell you about it Virus?

<<your inside inside voice is sooooo innocent sounding and trusting that i cannot help but indulge you Finnegan.>>

<<sure kid, go ahead.>>

Great! I hope you like to cook, cause this is a really great meal. Your friends will really dig it man. Did you know that I’m a cook?

<<you know i had heard that somewhere…>

Really? Cool! Ok, here you go, first you get some pot, ha, no I mean you get a large cooking pot…and…wait… I really know this recipe man…

<<you stop, start again, stutter a bit and mumble like a mindless git; and just when i am about to derail your stoner of the month cooking show, your cute little mind eyes glaze over and you recite the following, speaking like a human text book:>>

Day One ingredients:

1 cup red cabbage

1 cup green cabbage

1 cup carrot

1 cup celery

1 cup white or red onion

Day Two ingredients:

1 cup of sausage or beef (optional)

1 cup of chicken (optional)

1 tablespoon salt (sea salt or prefered)

2 teaspoons coarse black pepper

1 clove garlic

2 tablespoons chopped ginger

sautee all these ingredients in a pan or skillet and then add to vegetable stew pot. fresh garlic and ginger can be substituted for granulated or powdered, but it makes

the soup gods sad.)

1 cup (or so) of minute or quick cook (brown rice

(regular rice can be used but will need to be cooked in advance to avoid crunch soup…unless that’s your thing man.)

add whatever seasonings you prefer to further flavor the stew.

I really enjoy generic curry powder, cumin, cinnamon, chili powder,

paprika, and some basil. A couple teaspoons or so of each

seasoning should do it, perhaps a bit more. Start off with less

and and more to taste as it simmers. You’ll get a feel of how

much seasoning you enjoy the more you experiment.

(You can add the seasoning to the stew itself or to the

meat as it cooks initially.)


Overall Process:

Day One:

Shred, process, diced or chop the vegetable ingredients and deposit them into good size stock pot or pan. Cover with water and simmer with a little salt and olive oil (about a tablespoon of each). Simmer down and replace the water. Ideally cook the vegetable stock for about an hour. Let cool and refrigerate over night.

(Cook time and fridge time can be shortened. The heating and cooling and reheating seem to bring out and strengthen the vegetables natural flavor.)

Day Two:

Start to reheat the vegetables in one large soup pot. In a separate pan sauté whatever meat(s) and seasonings you prefer. After meat is fully cooked add to the pot of vegetable stew. Add another cup or so of water if pot allows room. Add about a cup of quick cook rice and preferred seasonings. Let the stew simmer on low temp for about an hour if time allows, at least for a good 10….. to…. 20… min..utes.

<<your voice starts to trail off at the end. i want to tell you how good this all sounds, but you have passed out again.>>

Sorry about that…

<<no worries. there was a doctor in the room when we met. he had two large men in suits escorting him. the three men stood around your bed.>>

“So that’s it? You’re just gonna give her a shot and leave her here?”, asks IshiZuka to the Doctor.

“There was a story about a man named Job who had everything that he could ever desire, and then he had it all taken away a piece at a time. God and the Devil did this to Job just to see what would happen, and to settle an argument they had been having. Job was always thankful and appreciative to God for what he had, when he had it. He always praised God and continued to try and do so even when all his precious things were taken away. Like Job, this woman lying here was thankful for her blessings, but instead of thanks to God she gave way to accusation of God about why so many in this existence have to go without. She cried for the suffering of others and made it her own. This woman has done what most of humanity has always done, she would drink and cry about the need for more. Granted she wanted those in need to have more, but she called God out on his shortcomings. That is how she ended up here.”, says the Doctor.

“Well, that was a lot of words to not answer my question.”, mutters IshiZuka.

“Hey, illuminati, you gonna leave her here or give her a future? Either way the bus is leaving.”, asks Yukio.

“Both.”, answers the Doctor.

<<and with that he turns and walks out of your hospital room. Yukio and Zukio shrugged and followed.>>

<<then you and i started to become better acquainted…after this short break>>


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