04 The Laboratory of Doctor L’Argent du Sang

“I will illuminate.”

– Eboo Patel

<<IshiZuka and Yukio enter the hospital’s emergency room and pass through the waiting area. IshiZuka finds himself drawn to the traumatic life experiences that he sees inside the hospital’s waiting room. this is a frequent occurrence that always displeases Yukio.>>

<<on multiple occasions IshiZuka has spent entire afternoons commiserating with various accident victims inside whatever hospital he and Yukio happen to be working near.>>

<<Yukio never bothers with other humans if he can avoid it. Yukio just averts his eyes and walks past the middle age man with a knife still stuck in his hand, bleeding onto the faded blue overalls he’s wearing. Yukio ignores the elderly, grey haired woman wearing a floral print nightgown. the woman is moaning and gasping to another, much younger woman that she,>>

“Never come to see me unless you need money!” and that, “our time here is short, you need to get right with the lord!”

<<the young woman looks at a magazine and ignores the old woman.  the magazine headline reads,>>

“Tronald Dump signs bill funding Palestine moon base expansion.  Population exceeds 2 million.”

<< IshiZuka just watches in awe and nods to the man with the knife through the hand as he and his brother move past the emergency area and down a hallway behind a door marked “staff only.”>>

<<the hallway leads straight forward for about the length of an average city block and then sharply turns right and then again abruptly left and then runs another city block leading to a T-shape intersection. along the walls of the halls are the doors of various rooms.>>

<< X-ray Lab, Cardiology, Nurse Breakroom; these are just a few of the exciting places one can visit in the hallway maze. Yukio has to turn around and drag IshiZuka away from the windows in these doors, because each window shows a different hospital drama unfolding.>>

“Zukio! Please keep up with me! We are not here to sight see. We are here on the Big Boss Man’s business.”, Yukio says.

<<Yukio insists this as he pulls IshiZuka away from his most recent reality show diversion. After spending ten minutes progressing deeper and deeper into the hospital’s intestinal shaped hallways; Yukio and IshiZuka finally arrive at the research laboratory of Doctor L’Argent du Sang. the two men stand at the frosted glass pane door framed in dark treated wood and each man adjusts their black or white suit before entering through the door.>>

<<once inside the laboratory, Yukio and IshiZuka walk past the few patients in the waiting area and up to the receptionist. the receptionist is a man in his early twenties; a college student looking type with a northern accent, brown hair and light blue eyes. he eyes the two large and well dressed men before him and picks up the telephone receiver on the desk and speaks into it; one hand holding the phone, the other covering his mouth as he talks into it. IshiZuka smiles wryly at Yukio as they exchange a quick glance in each others direction.>>

“The Doctor will see you now Brothers, although he is currently with a patient.”, says the receptionist.

<<IshiZuka thanks the man, as Yukio ignores him and walks through a set of dark brown wood doors into a laboratory filled with purring machines, test tubes held by men and women in white lab coats and goggles. these humans are apparently doing amazing experiments with terrific scientific implications, because they pay the two eye catching men no heed.>>

<<when Yukio and Ishizuka finally get into Doctor Sang’s office, they interrupt him injecting a series of fluids into a small seemingly disabled child. Yukio pays no heed to the Doctor’s look of displeasure and turns to the child’s parents and gives them the international recognizable “get out” hand signal with the large thumb of his large left hand. the parents rush to receive the child, Kevin, from the arms of the fearful Doctor L’Argent du Sang (or Dr. Sang as the less vociferous folks in the laboratory call him.)>>

“Okay Doctor, wrap it up. Mister Boss Man is ready to see what you have accomplished. Its is time for us to take that ride.”, says Yukio in a voice of someone who is used to being obeyed.

“But my work isn’t ready! The experiments are going really well and I think we may have accomplished that which the “Boss Man” has been hoping for; what he has been throwing money at me to get done. I just need a little more time to be sure…if you could just explain to him…”, begins the Doctor.

<<but the Doctor is cut off when IshiZuka picks him up from his chair and stands him next to Kevin and parents who now stand next to the laboratory door ready to depart.>>

“It is time we all left Doctor…”, begins IshiZuka.

“Tell your patients goodbye now.”, finishes Yukio.

<<the room’s emotional weather forecast is now: Tension clouds with the chance violence might rain.>>

“Hrrrrmm…yes, very well then.”, says the Doctor to the Brothers.

<<the Doctor looks to Kevin and his parents and says,>>

“All tests show that the implants show no signs of rejection. The organs we installed should grow at the same speed Kevin does, and the DNA should continue to adapt. I may be out of touch for awhile, but stay in contact with my office and keep me up to date on Kevin’s progress. And don’t worry if he seems to talk to himself a lot. That is all part of the healing process.”

“Thank you so much for healing Kevin, Dr. Sang…”, starts Kevin’s mom.

<<She breaks into tears of joy and clutches her husband’s arm. Human emotions fill the room. The husband turns away from his wife and son and faces the Doctor to say,>>

“I know the treatment is still in its experimental stages Doc, but it has worked miracles on Kevin. I think that you could change the world Dr. Sang!”

“That is my greatest hope and my biggest fear…but thank you, thank you for all your help and your trust.”, says the Doctor.

<<The Doctor shakes each family member’s hand in turn and the pats little Kevin on the head.>>

“Okay, okay. Make sure and shorten your workouts into manageable intervals throughout the day kid.  Let us all go now.”, says IshiZuka solemnly.

<<The Brothers lead Doctor L’Argent du Sang out of his laboratory/office and through the waiting area and around the earth shattering experiment lab and through the T-shaped intersection hallway and back out the emergency room entrance and out to the parking lot and into the passenger seat of Mister Boss Man’s shiny tiny car. >>

<< Yukio closes the door on the Doctor and climbs into the seat directly behind him. IshiZuka opens the driver’s side door and squeezes in behind the wheel and starts the engine. The humans all buckle in, the Doctor turns from Brother to Brother and says, >>

“What on earth is so damned important that it couldn’t wait until I finished with my appointment?!”

“You have another appointment Dr. Sang.”, says Yukio from the back seat.

<<the Doctor is slammed against his seat as the car speeds out of the hospital parking lot. Yukio and IshiZuka exchange giant grins via the rear view mirror.>>

“Damnit I haven’t even had lunch yet!!”, says the Doctor in exasperation.

<<IshiZuka slams on the brake pedal and looks over at the Doctor, transfixing him with large dark eyes. The car’s emotional weather forecast is dark and foreboding. The Doctor holds his breath as he tries to meet IshiZuka’s solemn eyes.>>

“Good point. Neither have we.”, says IshiZuka.

<<Yukio and IshiZuka eye each other for a brief moment. the Doctor shifts nervously in his seat.>>

“Let’s take him by the Diner on the way out of town Zukio.”, says Yukio.

<<Silence fills the car but not the empty stomachs. IshiZuka drives on. Yukio picks up a book called, “Why Climate Change is a Nancy Boy un’Merican’ Lie”, written by Lush Limbaugh and published by Ticky Tacky University Press. Yukio reads and mutters scattering words. Doctor L’Argent du Sang stares out of the window in desperation. McCow Towne passes the riders by. Ten minutes later into the drive the trio arrive at the world famous McCow Towne Diner, “Oh My, Antoine!!!”’s>>


<<The restaurant is a simple modern brick structure with a red roof and a large blacktop parking lot. The cookie cutter establishment somehow has a magical small town feel to it. The Brothers, the Doctor can tell, have previously enjoyed the food and atmosphere here a lot. Truth be told the good Doctor even harbors a secret fondness for a good plate of comfort food, but his current lunch companions do not inspire much of an appetite today. The Brothers sit down where they please; in spite of the “please wait to be seated” sign posted at the entrance. The Brothers quiz the polite yet frazzled waitress on today’s lunch specials and her marital status. Yukio orders chicken fried steak and eggs over medium and IzhiZuka tries today’s soup, Red Lentil and sweet potato (see appendix). Doctor L’Argent du Sang settles on a small chef salad. The Doctor hopes that salad is consumed often enough at this establishment that the lettuce mix will be fresh and more than just chopped iceberg and carrot shavings; but judging from the waistlines of the other patrons he seriously doubts it. Judge judge judge. Just hope the chef salad isn’t made out of chef.>>

<<After ordering IshiZuka, Yukio and a cook (curiously named Tim Duck and roaming free from the kitchen) make small talk at the trio’s lunch table. The Doctor studies the lines on the back of his hands and the shadows they make on the table.>>

“So Yukio passed gas in Mister Boss Man’s shiny tiny car and the smell changes three different times! It goes from bad decisions, to rotten eggs, to divorce and alimony…bwaaaa ha ha ha ha!!!”, says IshiZuka.

<<IshiZuka says the first half of this in a hushed, mock offended manner; before erupting into a roaring laughter. he does this, not only to pretend that he doesn’t want the other patrons to hear, but so as to attempt to embarrass his older brother. This ploy never works out. Yukio is beyond embarrassment concerning bodily function.>>

“Yuck. That’s some sick shit yo.”, says Tim Duck. <<before breaking into laughter of his own.>>


<<Tim Duck speaks in a tone and volume of voice that clearly indicates that he gives zero fucks about who overhears his conversation. The Doctor cringes at the topic discussed and the language used to discuss it. The Doctor is not the only person ill at ease with the conversation. Jeff, the current owner of “Oh My Antoine!!!”’s is particularly unsettled by not only this conversation, but by the types of employees that he hires to help feed the hungry masses. Good help is hard to find. What can one do? Jeff the owner and Mr. L’Argent du Sang the Doctor both find themselves trapped in contemplative silence as the Cook and the Brothers enjoy their existence on earth and discuss cooking and eating food.>>

“So how exactly do you make the ‘Badass Supreme Sandwich’, Tim Duck?”, asks IshiZuka.

“Well I’d tell ya big fella, but then I would either hafta kill ya or put you to work back in Boss’s kitchen.”, says Tim Duck.

<<The stresses of restaurant ownership weigh heavily on Jeff, so he is contemplating his own lunch for that day; to have a bullet through the head or a glass of Bullet’s Bourbon…hmm decisions, decisions. Fear not Finnegan, he chooses the glass of bourbon today. The Doctor sits thinking of the many varied interpersonal interactions that occur in a food establishment on a daily basis. Interactions between bosses and cooks and waitstaff and bartenders and dishwashers and delivery persons and customers. Interactions between food and equipment suppliers and manufacturers and farmers and plants and animals. Food service starts at the dirt in the field, and grows into food on the vine, and then travels a complete three hundred sixty degrees and ends up back as dirt on the dining room floor to be swept up by some janitor. The Doctor thinks of all this, and of the whole of West and East ‘Merica’, and of all of their restaurants, and the people who work and eat in them.>>


<<After the lunch of deep thoughts, the Brothers pay Jeff the Boss off for their meals. The Brothers guide the Doctor back into their own Big Boss Man’s shiny tiny car and get back on the road again. IshiZuka drives the shiny tiny car to the train station and pulls it onto the train’s car car and into a parking space. This is one of ‘Merica’s many large vehicles built to transport it’s many small vehicles across this great nation of cooks and con-men. The Doctor tries to relax on the train, but his thoughts keep going back to a cook. The Cook and her child.>>

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